Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Lifestyle choices

Earlier tonight, a lesbian friend was relating an innocent comment that was made to her regarding the two of us sharing the same "lifestyle". At first, I honestly passed over this comment without much thought. While discussing the conversation with my boyfriend, however, a few casual observations came out, so to speak.

What is the "lifestyle" that best describes me? A lifestyle of music making, of movie watching, of literature reading, of playing with my dog? A lifestyle of studying, of learning, of teaching? A lifestyle of diversity, of inclusion, of compassion, of forgiveness, of love?

No, sadly, the person who made the comment was probably referring to the "lifestyle" of my sex life. Of whom I choose to sleep with. Of whom I happen to have biological attraction! Is that really a lifestyle? When the average heterosexual person meets the average homosexual person, why do they immediately imagine said homosexual in the act of intercourse? I CERTAINLY don't envision late-night Cinemax every time I meet a straight person! (...eww...)

I don't have hard feelings about the comment. This was just someone's way of trying to verbalize something they don't really understand, but are sincerely working at understanding. I see culture changing all around me, every day, even under great resistance and duress. I believe in a better world -- I hope to see it one day.


JiminyCricket81 said...

You were right....I love what you said. Your words bespeak the kind of compassion that will transform the world...at least, that's what the Buddhists say, and I think I believe them. Certain Crickets (Grasshoppers) have much to learn.

Alexa Doebele said...

I've told Jericho about this already, but for those others who frequent the Doghouse....if it's in reruns or you can get a hold of it somehow, I'd highly recommend a recent episode of Morgan Spurlock's "30 Days" in which a conservative Christian straight man lives with a San Francisco gay man and lives and works in a gay community for 30 days. This episode exposes some misconceptions (unfortunately also confirming a few) about the life (not the "lifestyle") of the gay community. Perhaps most telling was not just this young man's transformation as he comes to understand that gay people are just people, but the questions he is asked about his experience by his family when he returns. (Questions such as "What do these people do for a living?" The young man's answer: "The same kinds of things everyone else does.")

Jericho said...

Thanks for the recommendation, treble_maker! I did have the chance to see pieces of that episode, and have been hoping to catch the whole thing in reruns. Some quick internet research revealed a repeat of "30 Days: Straight Man in a Gay World" on FX (Denver Comcast channel 27) on Monday night, 7/25, at 11:00pm.

Mountain Murphy said...

I'm glad that I have a different "lifestyle" than the cats I know or the elevator man I bit last week. But I so totally agree with the frustrating and almost demeaning way my liberal friends work way too hard at being inclusive!

Difference in lifestyle is a good thing. Making it about my sex life shouldn't be the point! BUT, try to train the humans, even the one's I live with!